Just had maths mock exam ytd and it suck, as usual, like cherlyn will ever like maths in secondary esp sec 4. I failed, like shit i shall say. I practice till i bang my book on the floor, roll on the floor, scream and whine till my mum says"you crazy ar?" okay, maybe i jus did not put in more effort (i guess so) but im trying my best to like maths (trying to make miracle happen). The paper was tough i shall say, my class din do really well either. Gosh..
Though im not taking my maths O lvl this year, but still, i've got to at least pass it rite? Wat's wrong with Cherlyn?!
Tmr's my F&N practical exam!! 4 dishes in just 2 1/2 hours, it mission impossible for me, and we are working individually! Can you imagine that??? This week is totally the worst week ever. It seems like im complaining a lot in this post.. haha, it's not seems like, it's a fact.
Got two sciences tmr.. phy and chem, hate it. Then need to report to the kitchen at 1 after school, then start practical exam till 6. tired. I shall spare the readers the agony of reading my complains and stuffs. Hopefully my next post will be something more.... lively?
haha

Just a few more months, its gonna be my chinese o lvl. Guess after tt i have to go back to my cca, dun really feel like gng back after seeing what is going on in CO, it's like, the CO is totally ruined. I am not saying that the new committee members are bad, but it's just not the CO it use to be anymore, it's all scattered. I'm not saying my batch of CO members are better, but seeing what you and your fellow pals have work hard and bulit up during the past years, and now, it just didnt seem to be anyone appreciating it, it's really heart-wrenching.
Sometimes, you would rather not know anything, not the truth, and avoid knowing every details cos the truth hurts. Maybe i'm just being selfish and not thinking about my juniors who are working hard, but it's really a heartache for me, i dunno how am i gonna face the truth. I'm silly aren't I? trying to live in self-denial, i noe it's not the best choice to hide, but i guess i'll jus self delude myslef for a moment till i'm ready to face the real situation.
Thks to those who tag on my blog, it really made me noe what i want better.

Being in school for almost 4 years, i never tot tt i will become a sec 4 so fast. I have more tests and assignments kinda busy, whenever i did undesirably for my tests, i always wonder if there's a need for me to cary on or just give up, i noe it's kinda of stupid to think this way, but when you felt hopeless, it just seem like, you dun have a will to carry on.
I dun think i have been a veri good senior in council especially now tt i am not veri involve in council, sometimes i wonder if i have every right to wear this badge. I sound stupid i noe, but this is how i feel.Gosh, im hating myself, my life and everything.

Ytd was this mass eating thing for racial harmony, we ate some malay food with our hands.. it's sth new to mi, so it's kinda fun. then i was complaining tt my new phone has no pictures, so Rina took my phone and started taking photos

Had my chinese o lvl listening comprehension today.. it's kinda okay, i guess. We were told to repoart b4 2.30pm so yeah.. we did wat s'poreans always did.. be obedient. then the teacher let us in and then she gave out the papers and instructions. She ltr turned on the radio ( i swear i dun hear the symphony channel though i know it existed) yeah, then we hear the songs and i tot is nice till the broadcaster started talking and i tot it's gonna begin, i got ready and sit up straight, who knows the broadcaster says " the GCE O lvl listening compre is gng to commence at 3pm" then our first reaction was, turn and look at the clock then the nxt thing i knew was, all our heads are on the table. It kinda cool, having our exam being broadcast on the radio, its 92.4FM if im not wrong. oh well... i just hope it turns out well, getting ready for my paper 1 and 2 on 5th Nov. i wanna get my distinction cos i dun wanna retake chinese nxt year.

Chinese listening comprehension is nxt tues.. gosh. Nervous alrdy. Oh ya, i changed my specc.. woohoo, my friends syas it's nice and this crazy mingyang says it ugly.. WTH!!! oh anyway i was listening to my dad's favourite band, air supply ( can you believe tt i listen to oldies? gosh, i cant believe it, im not turning old fyi)ok. back to the topic, this song suddenly made me sing along! OMG! i nv sing oldies.. okok, im digressing again cos im amazed tt i listen to oldies. but yeah, it's called just as i am, and i tot it's lyrics are kinda meaningful.. the song is nice too( i guess onli the chorous. here's the lyrics:

I've had a lot of big dreams
I've made a lot of bad moves
I know you could walk away
But you never do

I've met a lot of cold hearts
I've learned to smile and deceive
I know I'm hard to be around
But you never leave

I'm not easy to understand
But you hold out your hand

And you say you love me
Just as I am
You always treat me
The best that you can
You say you want me, need me
Love me, baby
Just as I am, just as I am

I've made a lot of heartaches
I've found a lot of closed doors
When all the others turn away
You love me more
You love me more

I'm not easy to understand
But you hold out your hand

And you say you love me
Just as I am
You always treat me
The best that you can
You say you want me, need me
Love me, baby
Just as I am, just as I am

I want to love forever
To keep our world together
And be the best that I can be
Baby, every time the world caves in on me

And you say you love me
Just as I am
You always treat me
The best that you can
You say you want me, need me
Love me, baby
Just as I am, just as I am

i've grown, Im not longer the girl tt cries when i face difficulties, i'm no longer the daddy's girl, i'm no longewr the girl who wonders why is the sky blue, but i'm still the girl who needs protection, who needs companion thru every ordeals and obstacles.
I wont be like other girls who puts on make up and dress up nucely, but i'll make myself presentable. will you still love me for who i am and treats me the best you can?
I wont change for anyone except myslef.. so like me for who i am and not what i am, dun expect me to change.. it will just make me hate myself even more.
I never expect anyone to love me fully, but all i want was someone to be there to laugh with me, a shoulder for mi to cry on and just a little care and most importantly the love everyone needs.
Will tt be really difficult?

my chinese oral o lvl was ytd, i guess i kinda screwed itup, but yeah, it's over.. thks to huishan and sufen, i kinda got over it.. haha. thks. today school was quite fun, i mean like got more laughter and stuffs. oh oh.. i was like trying to solve the maths question today and accidentally scratched my head and it bled, then sihui turn behind when i started screaming cos i dun noe how to solve the question and sihui was like ' OMG! WHAT HAPPEN?! THERE' A BULLET ON YOUR HEAD!' haha.. then ming yang woke up(he was on medication) and ask mi if i noe the meaning of puluni or punani or sth, it really make mi think hard.. so i pestered him to tell mi the meaning but he refused cos he says it's awkward for a guy to tell a girl the meaning, then i went arnd to ask the malays the meaning and they just started laughing.haha. im glad tt he din tell mi the meaning of it..it's ... gosh.. ok nvm.



mingyang, you can tutor mi for vulgarities. haha