I noe i shouldnt be grumbling here.. But i just needed somewhere to write this. Maybe it's my fault, i shouldnt have shouted at her, here's there scenario:
girl: you've got to help me do the report..
me: but my report alone cant do much either.
girl: NO... it helps.. you gotta help.
me: i nooooeeee, but maybe you can include me in the report, so i doesn't seem so ambigous.
(girl 2 came along)
girl: (whining)cherlyn doesnt wanna help me!!!
(i stared at the girl with eyes wide open)
me: (raised my vioce a little) i din say i dun wanna help you!!
me: i said you can include me in the report!
girl: okay (with the non-chalant look)
i was having mood swing, so i cant stand anybody whining and impatient today. i apologised to the girl thru messaging and apparently dhe din reply. i said i was sorry for losing my anger and made my stand by telling her that she had some misunderstandings and din noe what i meant. but still she gave me the cold shoulder. i cant be bothered anymore, im just too tired.

two-sided

you were a friend
that i gave full respect to
you were like my diary
i told you every single details of my life
i love you companion
i love you presence
i enjoyed every moment with you
but you
a prisoner of you own perception
led me into considering
the value of our friendship
i wondered if our friendship got depreciated
i never thought
never expect
it would all end up like this
we thought that our friendship
was strong enough to withstand the storms
but today,
you proved me wrong
now i believe
everything is two-sided

getting tired quite recently today, i guess it's due to the weather... it must be. I was so lucky, i studied healthcare for Social Studies mock exam and it came out. haha, but i was practically dozing off during the mock exam, Mrs Ng kept coming to my table to look at my answers, i thinks she's afraid tt i writing rubbish. LOL. My class was saying we wanna perform as a class for teachers' day, i think it cool luh, it's the best thing to before graduation. hahha.

Chasing Rainbows

I tried to find, the end of it
I trid to see where it begin
I found myself looking at the simplest thing
Sometimes, things seemed so complicated
But easy it is
It is the simplest painting in the sky
Yet, it has the most profound meaning,
It gives the velvet sky a story of it's own
Chasing rainbows, you can find no end
Finding it, you can find no beginning
Let the wind blow the dark clouds above you
Let the sunshine seeps through your ceiling
Giving you the rainbow you've been looking for
Your happiness never ends
Like how you can never find
The end of this mystical paintinig
Printed on the velvety sky.

School has been a little hectic recently. Not much homework,more revisions and expectations. But i start to like school, strange, but true. i used to loathe school to the max, but now, i just wished i could have a little more time in school. 38days to prelims, 43 days to O lvl oral, 105 days to O lvls, 122 days to freedom and 184 days to collection of results. Time is running out.I'' be staying back in school to study with my friends, book consultation. I remembered last week, i was sitting by the library with shalyn during the free period, we were studying, apparently the lower sec seem to be over populated,there are not tables and chaird left at the library and we have to sit on the floor. haha. We saw this whole bunch of students waving at our direction.. we looked clearly, they were the councillor, i really miss them, i really miss thos ushering duties, wearing and complaining abt the court shoes and esp amazed the boys how we run in our shoes. haha. I saw my councillors and remembered how small they were when i first saw them, but now, im really happy to see them grow, i cant describe those feelings, but it feels like ive fulfilled sth. haha. I find this poem very meaningful: the road not taken.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bend in the undergrowth
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing know how way leads onto way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
Is shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two road diverged in a wood, and I- -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

It's just the second week of school and im alrdy feeling the stress, i think im quite slack. When i rest, i felt a little guilty cos im not studying. Just finished my revision, tot i would blog abt sth. Oh, i just applied DPA ytd, hope i can get in (fingers-crossed). Received Prelims timetable ytd, i saw the papers and went like "WTH!!" Sad luh, have exams even on my birthday. haha. 42days to Prelims, im not gonna screw it up this time round, i really dun wanna get 28 points for O lvls. 4 months to O lvls.. time is running out, 25 aug is O lvl eng oral. I think my class all kinda felt the stress alrdy, all chionging like nobody's business, but the thing is that we do not appreciate ppl who tried to help us, when we get ourselves into some deep shit, out class will always find reasons from i-dunno-where and then we end up like we are innocent. i really think we need to reflect before O lvls begin. Everyone is falling sick, i noe it's near exams, but lets' all take care of our body,health problem prevails ambition.

Just finish math paper 1 just now. Im still kinda confused on how shld i kick start my F&N coursework part B. I just realized my tuition - mate takes F&N too, cooool, but i guess both out schools have a very different opinion on the question, i was kinda amazed by how they decipher the question. haha. My portfoilio is kinda done, i just need the recommendation letters for CCA and the form teacher and im oficially done with it. Online application is opened on the 8th. Well, i really wanna get thru the direct poly, i guess it gives me a kind of affirmation that i'll be able to attend poly like other kids out there and also boost my confidence a bit for O lvls. I had a really bad dream ytd, i dreamt that my L1R5 is 28, L1R2B2 is 18. that's really bad. i hope it's really a dream. I'm sure it's not gonna happen, i'll get my 10 points. School is quite okay, now i wished i'll have more time, 4 more months to O lvls. My teacher gave me the O lvl confirmation slip last week, i stared at it and thought, "shit, this is so damn fast!" Teachers are all doing revisions with us, remedial everyday, mock exams on every friday. haha. it's tiring, but it really helps us get prepared. English oral nxt week... i hope i can do as well as my MTL oral, get a distinction. My teacher was telling us that we'll be wearing the uniform for another 4 months, and we'll be done with it, it's real freedom then. haha. Im not exactly looking forward for the end of O lvls, but hoping that i've alrdy collected my results. lol.