It's Sunday, and i am having my Pre-Monday blues. Am really having a serious craving for ice-cream or ice-blend. I've learn a lot this year, realised I've grown up, my friends too, we think differently. Maybe because I've been thru quite a lot, i tend to think differently, well, it's a fortune in disguise then. Well, talked to my junior ytd, I haven been talking to him for a while cos im always tired after school, especially on those days when you have so much to do, and all you ever want to do is to procrastinate. Wydre, my bestie since sec sch and i talked to him abt his sch. I chided him a little i guess, and i wont blame him for being pissed. I'm am truly worried for him. The tot of me doing my tertiary education now makes me feel im no longer the same, im alrdy grown up. That means, there will be some point in my life, i wont be able to help him anymore, cos we'll all have to move on with our lives and do what we aspire to do. Seeing him not reaching his goals worries me. I've beem thru everything that he is gng thru and i dun want him to regret his decisions, i really want him to live his life to the fullest, but it aint gng this way. I guess his really tired of failing. he must be thinking :"so what if i work so hard, i still fail. It just hurt me even more when i fail. I dun think anything will change by working hard and let nature take its course." NO.. this isnt how things shld be like. Ive been thru all that too, I failed, teaachers told me not to aim for the impossible, ppl see look at me differently cos im in NA, sometimes i dun get support from ppl whom i love most. There are many a times i feel like giving up. I remembered how i cried over my results but no one knows, I've got into some sort of depression during my preparation period too, i cried while studying and i totally lost it. I know what i want, but sometimes things just dun go my way, especially when i've put in so much effort and yet nth has changed, it just makes me feel even worse. I didnt want to give up cos i dun wanna regret my decisions. I tried really hard, cos i rmembered what Shalyn told me, she told me to start believeing in myself cos she has nv stop believing in me. I may not be really happy now, but at least, i fulfilled the dream i had back then. I still have a lot of things to work towards now and in future, and this makes life quite sucky, but i will continue to work extremely hard. Ijust want him and maybe, my sis and some to understand that whateveer you are gng thru now may be the biggest thing in life and you may think that it is impossible for you to handle it, but it isnt. This is just some eniee miniee part of your life, its like a preparation camp for you to face what's awaiting for you out there. You have to be strong and move on, make the right decsions and really, start believeing in yourself.